Hay Merchant (Houston, TX)

As LL Cool J once said, "Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years..." It seemed about time to dust off the ole blog and get down to business. This week finds me in Houston, TX, home to some of the best BBQ in the country. But, this ain't no BBQ blog, we want some wings. So a quick google tells me to head to Hay Merchant for their Vietnemese Chicken Wings. I go and I order.

The order showed up and they look great. Now, might I add that this place is extremely dark and looks like a complete steam punk bar, but cool nonetheless. But, that also means that taking a pic of the wings is out of the picture because I'm not gonna be that guy that lights up this joint with his camera flash (see this article: http://www.epicurious.com/articlesguides/blogs/editor/2013/01/have-foodies-ruined-restaurants.html)

So, I'm copping an image off good ole google images so you get the idea of the wings.



Full wings with nice breaded (which astute readers will recall I'm not a huge fan off) coating, crisped to perfection. The meat is juicy and quite tasty. The sauce itself is a sweet fish sauce, Vietnamese style. My only complaint is the price, $6 for 3 whole wings, that a steep admission fee. But, pretty worth it. Not hot at all, just pleasant flavor. Yum!

Size: 4.5
Prep: 5
Taste: 4
Total: 13.5

Location:Houston, TX

People Are Dumb

Whenever I travel, I end up somewhere craving some tasty wings. This usually ends up with me going to google with a search with something like "best wings in xyz" So, here I am in Las Vegas and I do my search and turn up this page:

Best Chicken Wings Vegas - Travelocity

Now, when people say things like "Bud Light is the best beer" or "Buffalo Wild Wings rocks" or "Hooters has the most phenomenal breasts... Of chicken, git it? huh huh huh" I first want to punch you in the face, real hard. But, then I feel sad because I realize life will pass this person by without them ever really living it. Life's short, folks, enjoy great wings and quality beer.

BJ's Brewhouse - San Jose, CA

The tipoff of "boneless" should have been clue #1. The fact they are a chain should have been clue #2. 8 breaded and fried pieces of chicken. Clue #3.

Don't smell that great and very small. Let's dig in.






This is the Exxxxtra Hot. This is pretty weak on the heat scale. Not to mention, zero sauce. The wingman would be pissed.

It's almost like spicy nuggets from Wendy's. I would be pissed if I were paying for these. Oh wait, I am... Shit. If only the wings were as good as the jukebox.

Order 1 Extraaaaa Hot
Size 2
Prep 2
Taste 2.5
Total 6.5

Fifty Fifty Brewing - Truckee, CA

Smell oh my hot. Can't wait to dig in. Very small in size, though. And 7 for 10 bones. Better be good!








Not so good. Soggy prep and weird aftertaste. It's like the wings were par cooked and steamed. Heat is good, but not great. Pass says me. But have the beer, it's fantastic!

Size 2
Prep 2
Taste 3
Total 7

Birmingham Bridge Tavern

Familiar territory, I know. We've been here before, but I was in the mood for some Eric the Red, so here it goes.

Wings show up, great size and good sauce. The spicy smell of goodness coming off these wings, can't wait to eat.



Yum diggity. Cooked great and a really nice sauce. A far cry from the last time we were here. I'm gonna put down the phone and eat more!

While last time found us with salty wings that were under sauced, these were spot on. My belly is full and a smile is on my face. Not to mention a tingle in my lips, great hang time.

Size 4
Prep 5
Taste 4
Total 13

Keglers - Morgantown, WV

Hello and welcome from Coopers Rock National Park. I am coming to you from the Vanagon tonight for this review. I had had Keglers wings about 2 years ago at a friend's birthday party in Pittsburgh. They travelled the 90 miles and were kept warm in an oven. And they were still damn good. So I told myself, self, when you get down in that neck of the woods, you have to hook that up, so here goes.


"Wings by the Interior Light" by Yours Truly. Maybe not at melodic at Love By The Dashboard Light, but way more tasty.

Wings are a good size. And I can instantly smell the habanero, this is gonna hurt in the AM. I got these wings to go, so they do suffer from a bit of steamage in the togo box. Add to that I got lost getting to the campground (stupid Google Maps), so they weren't really temperature hot anymore. But let's eat.

Still really good prep. I've had their wings both times as long distance togo's and they never disappoint. I can taste that pepper as soon as I dig in. Good flavor and I'm happy. Second wing in the mouth, and I'm happy. Third wing in the mouth and I'm feeling a tingle. Fourth wing in the mouth and I feel a burning sensation. Fifth wing in the mouth and I'm on fire. Holy smokes that is hot. Not quite Jiggers hot, but this heat hangs around. I took two breaks to get through them. Good stuff, though. Would do that again in a heartbeat.

Order: 12 911
Size: 4
Prep: 4
Taste: 4
Total: 12

Fortinos - Oakmont, PA

So, it's been a while since I've done a review, so I figured it was time to write a place up. Last night I had the opportunity to try out Fortinos pizza and wings. Upon first glance, I'm somewhat intrigued. Full wings and they smell fantastic. I couldn't wait to grab my plate and dig in.

Decent size, like I said, full wings. Prep is okay as well. Fortinos is a small take out joint, and that is too bad. I'm curious to know what their wings would be like fresh out of the sauce bowl. Instead, you get a wing that has chilled out in a styrofoam container and kind of steamed. I used to have this same gripe with Big Shot Bob's wings. You get this feeling the wing could be so much better without the togo container.

Tastewise, the closest thing I can think of is General Tso's chicken. It's a nice change of pace, but I miss a little bit of heat. It's a shame, though, because we ordered hot honey garlic, but we got just the plain honey garlic. I ended up saucing the wings with a little sriracha on my own.

Overall, from a wing joint that was on WPXI's top wing list last year, it's a fair offering. But, it's hardly the best show in town.

Order: 4 dozen hot honey garlic (we got regular honey garlic)
Size: 4
Prep: 3
Taste: 3
Total: 10